I'll be honest with you; I've been unsure how to go about writing this post - well, delivering it to my followers. I tried the VLOG thing but struggled to really say everything I wanted to say.. you know, when you go to present something and you end up 'dumbing it down' or skipping chunks of information for the fear of boring people to death & so that it can be over quicker? Maybe writing is what works for me. I'll accept that I'm old fashioned (at the age of 23, haha!) OKAY so to set the scene for how most of my posts are written; I'm chilling in my pjs and eating donuts whilst composing my first and only draft. Unfortunately the cats are nowhere to be found this evening but I have the whole bed to myself so I really can't complain right now. Just wait - they will be through the door now. Any second. I want to talk about empathy. Being an EMPATH. What I mean by this is a person that is affected by other peoples emotions and situations. Okay, that's not the most intellectual definition so I'll ask google to clarify..
EMPATH (chiefly in science fiction) a person with the paranormal ability to perceive the mental or emotional state of another individual. Following this definition, I would like you to look beyond the notion of paranormal abilities and the link to science fiction? Don't worry I'll explain why further into this piece. I have thought about being an EMPATH several times and on occasion someone else has pointed this out to me. However, it wasn't until I started my induction at my new job (a hospital setting) that I really began to appreciate what it means to be an EMPATH. The thing is, readers, that I often ponder on the notion that those with mental health conditions are the most likely to be empaths. I consider it it's because we can, at times, be fragile and vulnerable to other situations around us. Our mood can be easily influenced and changed by the weather, economy and relationships in our lives. I also think it's important to recognise a subconscious craving to feel emotions and therefore empaths end up mirroring another's emotions. For instance, a leech latches on to human beings in order to suck blood. If it does not have access to the blood then it is craving it. It doesn't matter where the blood comes from. Much like this repetitive cycle, I feel sometimes that my mind is so comfortable being unwell that on my better days it is almost looking for a reason to feel hurt, rejection or loss. I don't have any statistics to hand but I hand on heart do not think I am the only one who experiences this. Of course it's absolutely normal to be affected by a loved one's emotional state but it is another to be consumed by it. I find that sometimes the sensations I experience as an EMPATH, end up triggering or heightening my own emotions. It's funny really, that the job I love so much is probably the worst thing for me right now. I love working with people and supporting them through massive changes and complex scenarios in their lives. It's part of the job to occassionally experience intense emotions regarding a persons situation. Yet when I get home from work - I just want my own, undisturbes company. I become a bit of a loner. I become my own best friend. I am able to focus on my own emotions instead of focusing on yours. I believe that mental illness enhances our emotions and therefore when we tune into negativity and suffering; we are able to feel it must more intensely. Perhaps that's another reason why we often describe oursleves as being 'tired' and 'overwhelmed' and 'lathargic'. Just a thought. Conversley, it has to be said that I have also considered how our own individual mental health can manifest into a clone of another persons situation. I'll use anxiety disorder as an example.. I may experience a mild panic attack and feelings of anxiousness due to supporting a patient when they find out their test results. My brain then ensures that the emotions I see before me, I begin feeling, and that they are absorbed and channelled into thoughts/ scenarios that highlight my inferiority to the person. I typically have the same thought - which is: they have more to give life than me, they gave more than I currently have - why is life so unfair. But, it's completely irrelevant and honestly, just another method of taunting and bullying myself. It's not my situation In order to have some control over my empathic traits, I need to start identifying with the living version of me and not rekindle companionship with the 'sammy script' - unfamiliar face. If Sammy gets her way, my two steps forward end up placing me three thousand back. Mental health takes the power and control away from you. You're knee deep in someone else's shit and all you have to show for it is tears and fatigue. That is why being an EMPATH is so difficult and emotionally draining. I believe the two are heavily entwined and that it is not just some coincidence. I don't think I would wish to change myself - even if given the opportunity. Empathy is what allows me to practice in my career honestly, safely and most importantly correctly. Empathy is at the centre of everything I do. Love is what I'm all about. I'll always go out of my way for people and I truthfully don't expect anything in return. So the times I require rest or to be antisocial - let me rest - let me focus on me and not you. Please don't take offence.
1 Comment
Loved this post. I'm more comfortable with defining my own empathy as being highly sensitive and emotionally intelligent. But like a sponge we all soak up each other's emotions. It sounds like you though are highly absobant and can consume feelings from complete strangers, probably through the briefest of emotional contact and maybe even through only intellectual contact like writing. From a few similar people I know it's a blessing as much as a curse. And it's important to learn how and when to protect yourself. To be able to learn to put up a protective barrier if you need to put your emotions first. Good luck x
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
CategoriesArchives
January 2019
|