Guest blogger Kartikeya!Hi, i'm Kartikeya. Where to start: it's a privilege to be the first guest blogger for DONUTS AND DEPRESSION and, well, to be asked to contribute a blog post in general. This is my first blog post, well official write up, so be kind. I am an engineer by education and a consultant by profession. In my free time I am a full blown fitness freak by lifestyle. It hasn't always been that way, naturally.
Fitness came as a boom to my life which gave me a mantra, a karmic objective or you can say focus to overcome my limitations. For my first blog post, I wanted to touch base on something which is near and dear to me. Something that should be a conversation starter and not an awkward ice breaker. Mental wellness, better known as mental health. If that's okay with you, i'll proceed... To this date our society (Pseudo Intellectuals as I consider them) think it is a vague topic. According to the WHO studies; there are approximately 450 million people worldwide who are suffering from this, which is categorized in different aspects of the illness. I will openly admit that I was no different to other and in the past found myself in a perpetual state of trying to overcome this ''problem'' and to successfully fix myself. Fitness came as a boom to my life which gave me a mantra, a karmic objective or you can say focus to overcome my limitations. During this time, I began to acknowledge the key indicating factors that helped me challenge my mental wellness and allow me to control it - rather than it continue to control me. 1. EAT TO ELEVATE YOURSELF What you eat is most definitely what you are. According to ancient Indian studies, it has been proven that food not only kills your cravings or hunger but also activates lot of hormonal activities that influence our well-being and daily processes. Unhealthy foods can affect our brain functioning as that is where all the motor signal generate which can lead us emotionally imbalance. I am sure you are already aware that the food we eat and drinks we take may give us a temporary boost but in actual fact proceed to hinder the normal functioning of the body. Remember that cliche - feel good on the inside to feel great on the outside? Yeah. 2. SLEEP LIKE A BABY You wouldn't run a car on an empty tank so why treat your body any differently. Have you ever considered just why are babies are (mostly) so happy and glowing? Well the answer is simple it’s the sleep. It might sound ridiculous but actually sleep is the best auto recovery mechanism we have in our body. During the sleep cycle our Growth hormones HGH are released in the body which actually help you in recovering from the day’s long haul work. Quality of sleep determines how productive you will be and also it has a very big effect on your mental state. 3. MOVE THAT ASS If it's good for your mental health and rewards you with evolving physical improvements - what other excuse do you need? You need to practice the art of getting your ass out of bed and/or off the couch and do some physical activity - daily. It has been proven that your physical strength can make help you in developing mental strength. Physical activity can be in any form from a gym session to a light jog to a walk, all depends on your liking. It will not only help you regulate blood flow, make those inactive muscles get a jolt but also stimulate your brain with feel good endorphins/increasing serotonin levels and help you fight anxiety, depression etc. Getting your body used to a regular increased heart rate and breathlessness will also make anxiety attacks feel less terrifying and more controllable. And come on who does not like a summer body to flaunt. 4. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER Books truly are our best friends, and no - not just because mum and granny said so. I always was a poor reader until I chose to read a book which helped in my Emotional Quotient. That’s correct books help you deviate yourself from your daily cobwebs and take you into a serene world of imagination. I'd like to think that is not just me..?Reading opens a 3rd world spectrum of critical analysis and in term stimulates the brain with problem solving. I believe that reading helps you find solutions to many problems which you might not have thought otherwise whilst always learning more about your own feelings and values. Self help books, novels, historical, scientific studies - feed your brain. 5. THE POWER OF SENSES Immerse yourself in the Box-office, art gallery, local park, even your apple headphones. We sometimes we need to just sit and relax and appreciate life and beauty. It is okay to 'clear your head' or 'cut yourself off from the world' temporarily. Head space is a must. But, the art you're focusing on (may it be in a form of paintings, nature walks, theatrical performance or your favourite movie) in turn releases feel good endorphins and happiness. As time goes on, and you learn that dedicating time for self-reflection and personal space is important, you will notice the acquired visual stability and release of endorphins that in turn help calm down anxiety. You will be amazed to see that how your irritability, tenseness just evaporates. 6. OTHERS KNOW OURSELVES BEST IN TIMES OF NEED When your mental health is taking a downturn, your view of the situation is very obscured and often inaccurate. We lose sight of our likes and dislikes. Our body and mind, are trying to trick us into remaining unwell. Therefore, this is the time where we need to admit that we do not know ourselves best and reach out to the one person in our life who does. This is the person who you are on the phone to before even registering you've dialed there number. It could be your mum, dad, friend or a cousin, partner, it doesn’t matter. I think that the only thing that does matter is that we have atleast one relationship that brings nothing but enormous positivity and mentoring. A relationship that prevails. Allow yourself to enjoy the company of these and not be secluded or push them away. When you are unable to pull yourself out of a dark hole - they are your bond of glee - waiting for you to be courageous. We cannot value enough the people who can just hold your hand and walk with you on the un-travelled roads of life and help you smile and let the fresh breeze of air flow when you feel choked.We just can't. 7. FIND SOLACE I have found that it is okay to sometimes just be me, myself and I - travelling, going to the gym, a party-free weekend. To just get up and go away to from the city life or the madding crowd and detox my soul. We need time to re cooperate. Just like animals that go into hibernation or the birds that fly to different counties in the winter. Take a trip to the hills, beaches, camp in the jungles or just go to countryside. Listen to the sound of the nature the water flowing, the rain drops, the birds chirping etc. This will help your brain hard reset itself from all the man made noises and thoughts. Being at peace with yourself is crucial in helping you to reflect and eliminate the toxins of the 21st Century lifestyle from your mind. 8. S.O.S Asking for a hand should not be the last option. Do not ever shy away from asking for that little push. If you are fighting your emotions, your day to day chore; or simply feeling lonely or overwhelmed from a situation-DO NOT SHY AWAY. Talk to someone who you can confide in. Whether its a face to face conversation, a letter, an email or a phone call. Be bold. Give yourself grace and be bold. No one is going to help you until you decide to acknowledge the support you require. Final point for reflection Mental wellness is not achieved overnight and it requires lot of effort and determination. But hey, no one said being born was easy but you did it. We tend to forget in later life the vast amount of skills we learnt and accomplished as children. Riding our first bike - and then letting dad take the stabilizers off. Learning to swim. Learning to read, write, draw. Learning to cook. We have learnt the skills necessary for survival. We just need to practice the skill of self care. All I can say is try and try and try, If you fail: do not give up, just analyse it - you're a step closer than you were before right? With each failure we learn skills to improve, prosper and overcome. You'll soon know why it was worth failing three times earlier.
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I'll be honest with you; I've been unsure how to go about writing this post - well, delivering it to my followers. I tried the VLOG thing but struggled to really say everything I wanted to say.. you know, when you go to present something and you end up 'dumbing it down' or skipping chunks of information for the fear of boring people to death & so that it can be over quicker? Maybe writing is what works for me. I'll accept that I'm old fashioned (at the age of 23, haha!) OKAY so to set the scene for how most of my posts are written; I'm chilling in my pjs and eating donuts whilst composing my first and only draft. Unfortunately the cats are nowhere to be found this evening but I have the whole bed to myself so I really can't complain right now. Just wait - they will be through the door now. Any second. I want to talk about empathy. Being an EMPATH. What I mean by this is a person that is affected by other peoples emotions and situations. Okay, that's not the most intellectual definition so I'll ask google to clarify..
EMPATH (chiefly in science fiction) a person with the paranormal ability to perceive the mental or emotional state of another individual. Following this definition, I would like you to look beyond the notion of paranormal abilities and the link to science fiction? Don't worry I'll explain why further into this piece. I have thought about being an EMPATH several times and on occasion someone else has pointed this out to me. However, it wasn't until I started my induction at my new job (a hospital setting) that I really began to appreciate what it means to be an EMPATH. The thing is, readers, that I often ponder on the notion that those with mental health conditions are the most likely to be empaths. I consider it it's because we can, at times, be fragile and vulnerable to other situations around us. Our mood can be easily influenced and changed by the weather, economy and relationships in our lives. I also think it's important to recognise a subconscious craving to feel emotions and therefore empaths end up mirroring another's emotions. For instance, a leech latches on to human beings in order to suck blood. If it does not have access to the blood then it is craving it. It doesn't matter where the blood comes from. Much like this repetitive cycle, I feel sometimes that my mind is so comfortable being unwell that on my better days it is almost looking for a reason to feel hurt, rejection or loss. I don't have any statistics to hand but I hand on heart do not think I am the only one who experiences this. Of course it's absolutely normal to be affected by a loved one's emotional state but it is another to be consumed by it. I find that sometimes the sensations I experience as an EMPATH, end up triggering or heightening my own emotions. It's funny really, that the job I love so much is probably the worst thing for me right now. I love working with people and supporting them through massive changes and complex scenarios in their lives. It's part of the job to occassionally experience intense emotions regarding a persons situation. Yet when I get home from work - I just want my own, undisturbes company. I become a bit of a loner. I become my own best friend. I am able to focus on my own emotions instead of focusing on yours. I believe that mental illness enhances our emotions and therefore when we tune into negativity and suffering; we are able to feel it must more intensely. Perhaps that's another reason why we often describe oursleves as being 'tired' and 'overwhelmed' and 'lathargic'. Just a thought. Conversley, it has to be said that I have also considered how our own individual mental health can manifest into a clone of another persons situation. I'll use anxiety disorder as an example.. I may experience a mild panic attack and feelings of anxiousness due to supporting a patient when they find out their test results. My brain then ensures that the emotions I see before me, I begin feeling, and that they are absorbed and channelled into thoughts/ scenarios that highlight my inferiority to the person. I typically have the same thought - which is: they have more to give life than me, they gave more than I currently have - why is life so unfair. But, it's completely irrelevant and honestly, just another method of taunting and bullying myself. It's not my situation In order to have some control over my empathic traits, I need to start identifying with the living version of me and not rekindle companionship with the 'sammy script' - unfamiliar face. If Sammy gets her way, my two steps forward end up placing me three thousand back. Mental health takes the power and control away from you. You're knee deep in someone else's shit and all you have to show for it is tears and fatigue. That is why being an EMPATH is so difficult and emotionally draining. I believe the two are heavily entwined and that it is not just some coincidence. I don't think I would wish to change myself - even if given the opportunity. Empathy is what allows me to practice in my career honestly, safely and most importantly correctly. Empathy is at the centre of everything I do. Love is what I'm all about. I'll always go out of my way for people and I truthfully don't expect anything in return. So the times I require rest or to be antisocial - let me rest - let me focus on me and not you. Please don't take offence. |
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January 2019
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